I was afraid to grow up.
Afraid of life.
I worried myself to death.
It was hard to breathe.
Like a fish out of water.
Like having asthma.
High school was hell-crazy wild.
My only plan.
Just get up and go.
Cant be like mom.
She always had a plan.
Living her life without any man.
Cant think that far.
Felt out of place.
Like dust floating in space.
Scared out of my mind.
Of what I might or might not find.
Cant hack relationships.
Why waste the time.
Still confused, but still craving knowledge.
I need to do what I want-for myself.
Even if its just me who cares.
Even if no ones there.
It was a long hard road.
To get my act together.
All bad choices, solely I sowed.
Working for nickels and dimes.
Like a newborn.
Taking one step at a time.
TO THE NEXT CHAPTER
Shadowed by pain, I slowly melt.
Nowhere to go, nothing to do.
Only aggravation and loneliness felt.
My life left empty, with nothing to lose.
Suffocating, I fall into seethe.
Falling as my world crumbles.
I’m left wanting to believe, searching for hope.
Like an acrobat walking an unraveling tight rope.
I call to those I’ve hurt.
Leaving a message ‘remember me.’
I’ve done things I want to forget.
A obstruction I’ve tried to avert.
I crawl out of the past,
finding a way at last.
To rise up instead of fall.
Destroying this dreadful brick wall.
See me now, strong and brave.
For I will never be hurt again.
I know I will adhere,
shedding this torment and pain.
The one I see in the mirror,
is someone, special and kind.
I now focus on what I am after,
moving forward, to the next chapter.
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