Guest Author Kayelle Allen – Writing a Hot Shower Scene

Writing a Shower Love Scene
By Kayelle Allen

Kayelle_Allen_SurrenderLove130x195The key to any good love scene is to incorporate the five senses: sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch. In addition, you want to provide an emotional response within the characters, so the reader can identify with them. For a love scene, that can be anything from downright innocence to absolute lust. In my new book, Forbid My Heart: A Luc and Rah Story I worked to include all the senses, and for Izzorah, who was inexperienced before meeting Luc, innocence. Luc is immortal and as jaded and worldly as they come. His delight in Izzorah’s innocence is a surprise to him. For centuries, he’d thought having an inexperienced lover was too much work and not worth the trouble, but when he met Izzorah (in Surrender Love) he decided no amount of time spent would be too much. In this sequel, they are getting to know one another even better.

I’m going to share a short excerpt, and then show you some tips about how to incorporate the use of senses into your work.

Forbid My Heart is Science Fiction Romance, and Izzorah (Rah) is a Kin, a feline humanoid with catlike ears, eyes, claws hidden beneath human nails, and the ability to smell emotions. He and Luc are in the shower, which has a voice-controlled water system. The word “t’hahr” means “my heart” and “kosset” means “treasured” or “precious one.” The scene is from Rah’s point of view.

 

The water bounced off Luc, sending up rainbows in the mist. At the sight of him all wet and gleaming, Izzorah chewed on his lower lip until his fangs almost broke the skin. Luc’s wide chest had a sprinkle of curly hair that trailed down the middle of his abs and led to a nest of black curls surrounding the most perfect cock Izzorah had ever seen. Thick, long, with a rosy head.

Izzorah tore his gaze away and stopped gawking like a child on his first visit to the city. “Is it okay if we use scented soap?”

Luc spoke a command, and the water aimed at and below his shoulders. He wiped a hand across his face and blinked past the water dripping in his eyes. “Whatever you want, kosset, but I thought Kin didn’t use artificial scents.”

“It’s real. It was handmade back home. I bought it when I went shopping.”

“I’d like that. There are sponges, cloths, and brushes next to the soap. Use whatever you want.”

Izzorah picked up the soap. “I want to use my hands to bathe you. Is that okay?”

“Bathe me?” Luc smiled. “You want to bathe me?”

“Yes.” He rose on tiptoe and brushed his lips against Luc’s mouth, then wrapped his arms around Luc’s neck. “I like touching you, t’hahr.”

Arousal deepened his lover’s scent. Luc’s lashes were wet and dark. He rested a hand on Izzorah’s neck, then squeezed and massaged the muscles.

“That feels good.” Izzorah leaned into the sensual touch.

Luc lowered his head to kiss him.

Sliding soapy hands up and over Luc’s back to his shoulders, Izzorah clung to him, mouth pressed against his lover’s. When Luc parted his lips, Izzorah darted his tongue inside, flicking the tip. Izzorah molded his body to his lover’s.

“Mmm. You taste so good, t’hahr.” His rising cock stirred against Luc’s. Kissing his way down the man’s chin and up along his jaw, Izzorah stopped next to his ear. “Te shree tu,” he whispered. “I love you.” Izzorah took Luc’s mouth once more and then withdrew, gazing up at Luc, trying to show with his face and ears all the adoration he felt.

“Touch me more, Rah. I love your hands on me.”

Sliding both hands up Luc’s chest, Izzorah spread his fingers in the man’s curly hair and met Luc’s gaze.

To provide a feast for the senses, the reader should find words and phrases that appeal to each of the senses. I’ll list a few of the ones in this passage for you and we’ll talk about how you can use a similar idea.

The scene above consists of 394 words, but about half of them relate to one of the senses. I chose this scene as an example because it was rich in this type of material. Your scene might not have as many; it might have more. The point is to make it as full of words that fit your description and mood as possible.

Sight
Think about what in your scene is a visual item. What do the characters see? Remember; don’t tell us the character saw these things: show us what they see. Which lines are more powerful?

  • Izzorah saw the water bouncing off Luc, sending up rainbows in the mist.
  • The water bounced off Luc, sending up rainbows in the mist.
  • Izzorah took in Luc’s wide chest. It had a sprinkle of curly hair that trailed down the middle of his abs…
  • Luc’s wide chest had a sprinkle of curly hair that trailed down the middle of his abs…

In both cases, it’s the second line. Whenever you tell the reader what the character is looking at, you are stepping between the reader and the character. Get out of your readers’ way. Let them see what the character sees on their own. If your love scene has any instances of you telling the character what one of them is looking at, edit it to remove those mentions. Your scene will be much more powerful — and hot.

Smell
In this scene, Izzorah uses a scented soap. It didn’t matter what the scent was, it was the fact that it had a scent at all. For Izzorah, who’s a Kin, smell is extremely important. He can smell emotions, so the fact that he offers to use a scented soap is actually rather telling. He trusts Luc enough to be willing to mask his odor, even a little bit. Toward the end of the scene, the phrase “arousal deepened his lover’s scent” gives us a little sample of what he’s experiencing. When you create a world of scent, it can give your readers an entirely new level of enjoyment for your story. If a character smells smoke, you know there’s fire. When writing an item into a scene, stop and think whether it has a smell, and whether that smell holds any significance for the characters.

Taste
In this scene, there was little mention of taste, other than Izzorah saying “You taste so good” to Luc. But in your love scene, you can have one character lick another, think about, or describe what they taste like during a kiss, or oral sex. Are they sharing food? It can be sensual dynamite to have lovers using food during their sexual play. Chocolate body paint, anyone?

Hearing
There is water dripping in this scene, and the shower is running. In your scene, what are the sounds in the background? Are your characters in the city? Country? Outer space? Are there engine sounds? Is music playing? Is there gunfire? Make the most of whatever sounds are in the characters’ proximity.

Touch
List the items your characters pick up, handle, touch, use, or fondle. Don’t forget to include the other character(s) in your scene. 😉 For Luc and Rah, there are sponges, cloths, and brushes, but Izzorah prefers his hands. Luc massages Izzorah’s neck, and he leans into the sensual touch. He slides his hands up and over Luc’s body, into the curly hair on his chest, and molds his body to his lover’s. He kisses his way down Luc’s chin and up along his jaw. Most love scenes lend themselves to touch.

Showing Izzorah’s Innocence
This is a very short scene, but at this stage of his experience with Luc, he is still quite innocent. Luc is over twelve thousand years old. Rah is in his early twenties. I used the phrase “…stopped gawking like a child on his first visit to the city” to show that he’s aware of his naiveté. Twice in this scene, he asks if something is “okay.” Near the end, the young Kin tries to “…show with his face and ears all the adoration he felt.”

If you have a less experienced character, you might have them fumble items, not know which words to use, blush or stammer, or as Izzorah does in a scene in a previous book, get so carried away by pleasure that he stops giving and simply accepts, too lost to realize he’s done so. The other character can either continue giving (perhaps with a smile) or if he/she is as innocent as the one receiving, perhaps things fall apart and don’t go as well as planned. Either way, it can be a lovely way of showing the differences between the characters, and make for an endearing scene.

Luc’s Experience
The world-weary Luc is savoring every moment with Izzorah, enjoying seeing him react to pleasure. To show Luc is in control, there are subtle differences in the way each character reacts to the environment. Izzorah asks; Luc answers. Luc speaks a command for the shower to spray in a certain area. He says “whatever you want” — giving control (since he already has it). He directs Izzorah to “touch me more” and tells him, “I love your hands on me.” Izzorah asks permission. Luc says openly what he wants.

When you write using the senses as well as the emotional capacity of your characters you offer a richer experience to your readers. Stay out of the way and let them experience it without you explaining what they read. If you use powerful imagery, they will figure it out for themselves. Let readers see, hear, taste, smell, and touch right along with your characters and they will come back for more.

 

KA_forbidMyHeart_coverlgForbid My Heart: A Luc and Rah Story

These characters were introduced in the book Surrender Love, which won the 2010 EPIC eBook Award for Science Fiction Erotic Romance.

Waking in the middle of the night, Izzorah begins to worry. His lover has pledged to take him back to visit his homeworld, but Izzorah knows the fact that they’re gay could cause their death if the Kin Pride Council hears about it. His heart tells him to trust Luc, but Izzorah’s fear is real. He snuggles up to Luc, seeking comfort.

Luc is immortal. He has the perspective to understand his lover’s concerns and not worry about them. To distract Izzorah, Luc tries a sexy game of dominance and submission played during their shared shower. Izzorah’s unreserved trust and respect make Luc long to wipe out any shadow of trouble or sorrow. He would turn the Kin homeworld upside down to protect him, but convincing Izzorah he can do it will mean confessing a truth Luc is not yet ready to share.

Luc and Rah must learn: where the heart leads — follow.

Buy link: http://www.loose-id.com/forbid-my-heart-a-luc-and-rah-story.html

Available only on the Loose Id website.

Kayelle Allen is a multi-published, EPIC Award winning author. She writes Contemporary Romance, Gay Romance, Erotic Science Fiction Romance, Mainstream Fantasy, BDSM, and non-fiction. Her website has over 100 pages of places to explore within the Tarthian Empire, where many of her stories unfold.
Homeworld http://kayelleallen.com
Blog http://kayelleallen.blogspot.com
Twitter http://twitter.com/kayelleallen
Facebook http://facebook.com/kayelle.allen
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Goodreads http://goodreads.com/KayelleAllen

Marketing for Romance Writers http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MarketingForRomanceWriters/

 

Chris T. Kat – The Caveman and the Devil

Charlie, thank you very much for having me on your blog! I’m excited to share my new release The Caveman and the Devil, with you and your readers. Dreamspinner Press published it on May 1st.

CavemanandtheDevil[The]_headerbanner

The Caveman and the Devil is an m/m contemporary romance story. The main characters are Paul Myers (POV) and Noah Collins. They’re both zookeepers at the Philadelphia Zoo and became a couple a year ago.

Paul is eleven years older than Noah, which to a certain degree shows in their relationship dynamic. Noah isn’t immature but he acts on impulse and trusts Paul to be his safety net. Paul loves to take care of Noah—even though it came as a surprise to him—and if he’s honest with himself, he’s often amused by Noah’s antics. As long as Noah doesn’t jeopardize his health or safety, that is.

Years ago Noah had been injured by a jaguar and he’s still carrying scars. The physical scars have healed—some better than others—and they are mostly hidden when he’s dressed. Noah refuses to talk about the emotional impact the attack has had on him and Paul doesn’t push him, accepting Noah’s wish for privacy.

Both men are awed by the fact they’re a couple because Noah chose to become a zookeeper after reading about Paul in magazines and developing a crush on him. There’s a still a bit of hero worship going on from Noah’s side, which he often tries to hide behind teasing remarks. Noah refers to Paul as caveman frequently and for a good reason!

Paul isn’t someone to discuss things. He sees what needs doing and does it, no matter if he comes across as overbearing. He also discovered a unique way to get through Noah when he’s mid-tantrum. Noah loves Paul’s caveman-attitude even though it sometimes means standing under an ice-cold water spray. 😉

Since Noah so often reacts impulsively and teases Paul whenever he can, Paul gave him the nickname Devil. Usually, I struggle for a while (okay, sometimes it’s a long while) to find a title but this time it was easy. Both characters are sufficiently characterized by their nicknames, so why not just use these as the title?

I’m hoping the title will catch the reader’s eye (as well as the gorgeous cover), make them curious enough to take a look at the blurb and eventually feel compelled to read Paul and Noah’s story.

 

cover_caveman_devil

This is a continuation of Paul and Noah’s story “Cuddling Up”, which is included in Dreamspinner’s Animal Magnetism Anthology.

Buy links:

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=3793

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Caveman-Devil-ebook/dp/B00CLME0MY

All Romance: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-thecavemanandthedevil-1186678-149.html 

 

Blurb:

The animals at the Philadelphia Zoo brought zookeepers Paul and Noah together, but now they might tear them apart. When a bloodthirsty lioness stalks her cubs, Noah charges into her enclosure without regard for his own safety. Luckily, a coworker catches his mistake and saves the day. It’s not the first time Noah’s rushed in on impulse, and he still carries scars from the last time.
Paul can’t pretend nothing happened. Frustrated, he tries to comfort Noah, but he can’t get past his anger. As head keeper of the big cats, Paul must report the incident and figure out how to keep his reckless lover safe. Somehow he has to make Noah see that his carelessness could cost him his job or his life—and maybe Paul too.

 

Excerpt from Chapter Three:

Once inside the bathroom I inspected my reflection in the mirror. I looked exhausted but also ready to pop a vessel. Since the sight wasn’t all that inviting, I turned away. I hadn’t even opened the first button of my shirt when the bathroom door opened. It was all I could do not to snap at Noah. Was it too much asked to have some alone time so I could calm down? I hoped he’d get the hint if I didn’t stop with my task at hand.

Noah, being Noah, either didn’t understand the silent treatment or ignored it. If I would bet I’d put my money on the second option. He walked around me until he stood in front of me and since I didn’t trust my voice, I chose to glower at him.

“Hey, Caveman, are you mad at me?”

“Me?” I asked, feigning surprise. “Whatever gave you that impression?”

“You are mad.” He wrinkled his nose as his searching gaze flitted over my face. He was clearly puzzled by my behavior. “Why?”

“Why? Why? Seriously? You’re seriously asking why I’m mad at you?”

“Yes, dear almighty Caveman, I’m seriously asking why you’re mad at me! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

Utterly baffled, I forgot all about what I was doing or what I had intended to do. I stared down at Noah, my lover, the man I’ve loved for almost a year now. Incredulous, I croaked, “You didn’t do anything wrong today? Is that right?”

The light bulb slowly went on for Noah. Of course, he immediately lunged into defense mode. “I just wanted to get the cubs out of there!”

“You went into Kiara’s compartment without waiting for the inner door to be locked! She had just killed two of her cubs and was in the process of killing the other two!”

“She had walked into the other compartment!” Noah protested.

“But the separating door wasn’t closed yet!” I shouted, eventually losing the fight with my emotions.

“He locked the door right after I was inside.”

“Yes, and she came back and jumped against it, roaring. What if Trent hadn’t managed to lure her away?”

“But he did. Don’t be such a nitpicker all the time.”

I could hardly breathe. The memory of Noah crouching in Kiara’s compartment, cooing at the two surviving cubs in the middle of a bloodbath, raised the hairs on my arms again. Nausea rolled through me, sweeping me up. It could have been over today.

Chris T. Kat

Chris T. Kat lives in the middle of Europe, where she shares a house with her husband of many years and their two children. She stumbled upon the M/M genre by luck and was swiftly drawn into it. She divides her time between work, her family—which includes chasing after escaping horses and lugging around huge instruments such as a harp—and writing. She enjoys a variety of genres, such as mystery/suspense, paranormal, and romance. If there’s any spare time, she happily reads for hours, listens to audiobooks or does cross stitch.

Links:

Blog: http://christikat.blogspot.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/christi_kat

GoodReads:http://www.goodreads.com/ChrisTKat

DSP author page: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=605

Guest Author Andrea Speed – Romantic Horror

InfectedPreyLGI have to admit, having been caught up in editing recently, and it made me ponder the similarities between my two series, Infected and Josh of the Damned. Now, on first glance, the two series couldn’t have less in common. Josh is a horror-comedy about a convenience store clerk who sells snacks to monsters and is forced to save the world whether he wants to or not (and mostly he’d rather not), while Infected is all about the havoc caused by a werecat virus unleashed on society, and Roan McKichan, the virus child caught between worlds who’s wrestling with the possibility he may not be entirely human. Josh is funny and weird, dwelling at an intersection where poorly paid retail jobs meets B grade monster movies, and Infected is … well, it’s dark. I’ll be the first to admit it’s kind of grim sometimes. Although it too is funny, as Roan had a very well developed sense of humor, and all his friends are weirdoes. (He is too, so that works out.) So is comedy the common denominator? Not really, because humor is the point of Josh of the Damned, and it’s a leavener in Infected, something to cut the darkness.

The common denominator is horror.

Now, Infected isn’t really a proper horror series, not as they are generally understood. But considering how awful the effects of the virus are, and Roan’s internal and occasionally external battle with his own weird viral strain, the influence of body horror, a horror sub-genre, is undeniable. You can find some of the best examples of body horror in the work of movie director David Cronenberg, who pretty much cornered the market in the ’80’s. (Scanners, Videodrome, The Brood, Rabid, The Fly … I could keep going, but all have body horror as part of their make up. To be fair, the last movie he made with any body horror elements in it at all was eXistenZ. I think he said all he wanted to say.) Body horror is just what you expect: being terrified of something in you, or something warping you, changing you into something you don’t recognize. You have seen the enemy, and it is you. You could even fold the Alien movies in at the edges of body horror, because there is a little of that in its bones.

To muddy the waters, Infected is set in an alternate universe, one pretty much like our own world, except for that pesky werecat virus. Also, there are lots of mystery plots, since Roan is a private detective. I can’t call it horror with a straight face, or at least not with an asterisk. And while there is violence, there hasn’t been a horror movie slasher or anything of that ilk. Which is good, because they wouldn’t last five minutes with Roan. (Or Holden either, come to think of it. He doesn’t dick around.) This is probably why I have a hard time deciding what genre the Infected series belongs in, because I’m not sure.

JotD_TripleFeature2And Josh is horror, only in the Evil Dead 2/ Army of Darkness vein, but with less slapstick. That’s hard to recreate in print anyway. In fact, if somebody wanted to argue that it wasn’t horror since few horrific things happen, I’d be forced to agree. Josh is from the goofy horror sub-genre, the creature feature department, where guys in clumsy rubber suits menaced co-eds and the city of Tokyo with equal effectiveness. Yes, he deals with zombies, werewolves, and vampires, but they’re generally just there to buy stuff. In the end, the Quik-Mart Corporation is the biggest villain of them all, which makes perfect sense. What would you be more afraid of – a shambling corpse, or a CEO with a cadre of expensive lawyers? I rest my case.

But then I suppose this might lead you to ask why horror? Why do I like writing it so much? That might be something for a psychiatrist to handle, but the truth is, there’s a lot you can do in this genre. It isn’t just madmen in masks, serial killers, or standard creatures such as zombies, werewolves, and vampires. It can be and should be a whole lot more. Much like chocolate, horror can meld with just about any genre you want to pair it with. Readers, writers, won’t you give it a try? It can be so much more than scares and gore, if you’re willing to use your imagination. We need more writers to stretch the boundaries and see where we can take it.

But I have cornered the market on yetis, okay? They’re all mine, don’t touch ’em!

Exclusive snippet: Doug, Josh’s stoner roommate, is giving him a lift to work.

**

“You tell me, avatar,” Doug said, tossing the butt out the window as the light turned green. (Apparently you never wanted to be pulled over with even a minuscule amount of pot in your car. How Doug knew that, Josh had never asked.)

His Honda rattled as it shifted and lurched forward like a drunk. “I mean, what? Can’t afford the car?”

“Yeah, that’s one thing. Second, I never learned to drive.”

“What? You shitting me? You never took the class in high school?”

“My high school didn’t have that class. We did have metal detectors, though.”

“Gotta have priorities.”

“Guess so.” Josh picked up the pizza box between them and took a slice. It would have to be his breakfast, if you could call it breakfast near midnight. Oh hell, it was whatever he said it was. The night shift made its own rules.

For no obvious reason, the car shuddered, and he had to grab the box before it fell into his lap.

Doug’s Honda was beyond shitty. It shook, made funny noises, and smelled of bong water and beer. And yet, Doug called it his miracle car, as it just kept running. No matter that its exhaust smelled like Satan farted, the damn car would just not give up and die. It was an ugly, magical creature.

Doug reached over and grabbed a slice. “Owe me ten eighty-five.”

This was news for Josh. “What for?”

“The pizza I’m delivering for you. Also, I expect a tip.”

“Oh man.” Josh searched his coat for his wallet. He had slept past his alarm and missed his usual bus, so he’d had to call Doug at work, who made up some excuse to deviate from his route to give him a lift. Josh had no idea how he’d swung it, but Doug was the one with oodles of slacking-off experience.

“Hey, it’s cheaper than asking for gas money.” Doug gnawed on his crust for a moment. “Why you even goin’ to work? Didn’t they try and kill ya last time?”

Infected Series Buy Links
Josh of the Damned 
Buy LInks

 

Author Bio

Andrea Speed was born looking for trouble in some hot month without an R in it. While succeeding in finding Trouble, she has also been found by its twin brother, Clean Up, and is now on the run, wanted for the murder of a mop and a really cute, innocent bucket that was only one day away from retirement. (I was framed, I tell you – framed!) In her spare time, she arms lemurs in preparation for the upcoming war against the Mole Men. Viva la revolution!

Website/blog: http://andreaspeed.com/
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